"Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’"
Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)

twcno:

futurebatgirl:

patrexes:

4sensesplusascarf:

Whenever I hear people say that classical music is boring I just want to remind them that Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture called for a cannon to be fired a total of 16 times.

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remove cattle from stage

that’s not even the best partimagekey terms include:

  • balance your chair on two legs”
  • "continue swimming motion"
  • "insert peanuts"
  • "play ball!"
  • "release the penguins"
  • "gradually become agitated"
  • "light explosives now….. and…..   ….. now."

Disney has taught me that…

roxasfrostsblog:

medusasmiles:

daydreamsanddisney:

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That last one just speaks to me! :’)

Assume i’m dead if I don’t reblog this.

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

shubbabang:

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people who bite into ice cream absolutely terrify me

mosquitotits:

when someone comes into your room without knocking

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hotidiot:

spectacularuniverse:

Sphaerodactylus nicholsi, one of the smallest geckos in the planet. (x)

This is amazing. Look how small it is. It has a heart and a stomach and a brain. And it’s this small

hotidiot:

spectacularuniverse:

Sphaerodactylus nicholsi, one of the smallest geckos in the planet. (x)

This is amazing. Look how small it is. It has a heart and a stomach and a brain. And it’s this small

lackyannie:

theangiec:

This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this 

THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE

lackyannie:

theangiec:

This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this 

THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE

leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

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"But I have a big dick"

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"I don’t have a big dick"

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"But I am rich"

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"I’m rich"

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"And I have a big dick"

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